This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
