I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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