She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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