Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
