I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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