hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
