D3 body, D1 cock
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
