I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
