If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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