quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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