would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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