My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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