It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
