Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
