We're like a lot better than the average bears
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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