I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize