i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
