Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
