I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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