YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
