I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
