I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
