my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was like eating out sand paper
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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