i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
