college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
