doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
