STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
