Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize