There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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