I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And then he peed in my hair
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