So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
