i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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