i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This is my gift to your gina
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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