real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
