is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
