ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
