if i died would you start the facebook group?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
