WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
