Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
