Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
