absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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