Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where is the hickey?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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