Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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