This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
