Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
