Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
