making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
