I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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