listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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