I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
