Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize