did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
