I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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