I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
