i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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