3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
