Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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