Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize