yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
