That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
