I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
