what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize