I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
