I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize