Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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