We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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